One day not far from now, we could find out that Vampires are real. Or Zombies. Or Witches. Or Demons. How likely are you to live more than a few days? Can you adapt and learn the skills needed to survive in an urban fantasy novel? Let’s see!
When the truth is revealed, bondage gear is vital. Use studded collars and bracelets to protect those most succulent of veins in the neck and arms. Whips can be good for more than the bedroom, they can be used to tie up that pesky demon who tries to trick you into sleeping with him. Whatever the case, get over that shyness quickly!
2. Keep a Whetstone Handy
What good are all those knives and switchblades of urban fantasy novels when you can’t sharpen them after a righteous kill? None, that’s what. Make yourself an extra holster on your belt for your whetstone so you can sharpen as you fight. Consider also taking sharpening lessons from a chef – after all, they’ve spent hours sharpening all kinds of knives for work. Or just keep a chef on call. You never know when or where you might need to stab someone.
3. Buy Leather Futures
Let’s face it, whether it’s used for armor or fashion, leather sales are going to skyrocket and you want to get in on the ground floor. Thought about investing in Microsoft? Apple? Hate yourself now? Nuf said. Leather is the currency of the future.
When the world of urban fantasy finally crashes into our reality, flexibility and core strength are going to be key. Slaying – or sleeping with – a vampire can be dangerous and even a small mishap can lead to your becoming dinner. Make sure you don’t get a stitch in your side at the wrong moment by investing in core strength and balance. Twenty minutes of yoga a day can keep you in the shape you need to survive. Stay flexible!
5. Stock Your Cupboard with Holy Water
Regardless of what god(s) or lack thereof you believe in, some holy water will come in handy when you need to bless your sword, lace your bullets, or sprinkle on in place of perfume. There’s no guarantee holy water will work, but hey – if it doesn’t, you can still drink the water. Or use it to slake the thirst of the werepanther who comes knocking on your door. Either may be important. Stock up.
6. Have a Fat Friend Travel With You. Or a Cripple
Is it insensitive? Yes. Is it practical, OF COURSE! No matter what group you find yourself involved in, you want to make sure you’re not the slowest. Keeping a fat friend around is a smart strategy for survival. And remember, no matter your size, there’s always someone bigger and slower. You’ve just got to find them and keep them nearby in case the worst happens. Can you really afford to be politically correct with a demon chasing you? I think not.
Got any tips of your own? Share them in the comments!
Awakening (The Keeper Chronicles Book 1) is an INDIEFAB Book of the Year finalist.
Demons live among us. And humanity’s secret guardians are the Keepers. When her father dies mysteriously, Rebekah Lorek is thrust into a world she’s not prepared for, and her awakening powers are a mystery. She has to sort friend from foe before she finds herself the target of a demon’s vicious hunger.